Introduction 

The internet has changed and grown within the past few years. With the rise of social media and smartphones, it’s never been easier than it is now to access the internet. Almost everyone now has a smartphone on them at all times, they can use it to navigate themselves, call someone, text someone and so much more. Social media has even grown, where it used to be just a few platforms like Facebook and mySpace, now there’s TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and so many others. With how accessible it’s become to get a smartphone and how easy it is to sign up for such social media platforms, parents have never been in such a strange spot. Their children can easily browse the internet, make their own social media, and do so much more. Leaving parents having to come up with a decision of either letting their child roam free on the internet or limiting what they browse. It’s not like it’s hard to monitor their children as well. There are system settings that will allow parents to block websites, or even just check on everything their child searches. There are things such as parental controls, where they can put a limit on how much their child uses their phone. 

As easy as it can be to monitor their child, I don’t believe it’s the right thing to do. I understand that parents will try everything to protect their children from anything that can harm them, however, I believe children shouldn’t be guarded against everything. Being someone who grew up at a time where the internet became easily accessible, it was interesting to see how these different parenting styles affect those around me. There were parents who were much stricter than others, and some who ultimately didn’t really worry about it at all. All this new technology is scary for many parents as they didn’t have it when they were younger. They may not fully understand it themselves yet, they may see everything from the internet is bad and believe it’s better to keep their child away from it at all times. 

When first coming up with the question, I assumed that the majority of parents out there may be giving their children privacy but I found out I was wrong. An article by Monica Andersson for Pew Research Center, titled “ How Parents Monitor Their Teen’s Digital Behavior” surveyed parents asking whether or not they have ever gone through their child’s devices or accounts. The survey found that 84% of parents who have answered the survey have gone through their child’s device while only 16% of those parents had given their child privacy. I personally found this astounding and terrifying at the same time. I thought less than 50% of parents would’ve not over 80%. Parents, you shouldn’t be watching everything your child does. The survey even took it a step further asking those who monitor, what exactly they do. The top three actions are viewing their child’s web history, social media account, and checking their child’s call log and messages. Viewing your child’s messages tells me you don’t trust what your child does. 

Trust 

One of the biggest reasons why I don’t believe you should monitor your children’s internet use is that it builds up this sense of distrust between you and your child. As Kristen Weir states in her article “Parents Shouldn’t Spy on their Kids”, when kids are at the age of about 12-14, they start trying to figure out themselves. They may keep things private to themselves which is necessarily fine. It’s part of growing up, no child wants their parents to know every little thing about them. Kristen Weir also points out how most children nowadays are far more tech-savvy than their parents. It’s fairly easy for a child to find out their parent is snooping on them, they can either create a secret account or even just delete them altogether. Kids who start to sense that their parents are spying on them can become even more secretive. I’ve known someone whose parents watched almost every move of their child. Whether it be their social media or even their location. Instead of trusting that their child would do the right thing, they had to know everything. Which left my friend not telling their parents everything. They grew to despise their parents more than anything. You parents need to build a healthy relationship with your child, which includes your child trusting you, and you trusting them. When kids are growing up and starting to find themselves, they may not necessarily do the best things and may even start to experiment with some things. 

Instead of snooping through your child’s things and looking for something to yell at them for, maybe instead just ask them how they are. More often than not your child will probably tell you what they want to tell you. Which is fine, children will want to keep some things to themselves and they are entitled to that. They deserve that ounce of privacy, just as much as you do. I’m sure you don’t want your child to know every single thing you have searched up or messaged to someone else. Like I said about them, that’s okay too, as a parent you deserve your own privacy as well. You’ll have a healthier relationship with your child if you trust that they’ll do the right thing. 

Experimenting 

Experimenting is almost a big part of adolescence. It’s almost how we find the things that we love and start to shape who we become. It’s even how we tend to learn from our mistakes. Something as simple as touching a pan or pot on a stove, as soon as you touch it and feel that sense of pain, you’ll never do it again intentionally. Now, not everything children will experiment with is good for them, and nor am I trying to condone any children to do such things, but it’s how they’ll learn. Things like smoking, drinking, As children grow older, in some scenarios they may encounter these substances. It’s understandable as to why parents would want to stop their child from having this encounter, but it will happen at some point in time. If a child’s parent constantly tells them not to do this, and not to do that, that child will most likely be more susceptible to taking that substance. While those who are given much more freedom/privacy may not accept and do what they think is right. Alon Schwartz says it best in his article titled, “The Big-Reason why Parents Should Never Cyber-Snoop or Monitor Their Kids Online”, where parents shouldn’t be in charge of everything their child does, but rather they need to be an aide or guide. It is their job to guide their child into being a well-developed and behaved adult. 

My parents raised me in a way where they had trusted me to do everything I needed to do. They would always just check on me if I ever needed help with anything, or if I was struggling in school, but for the most part, everything was left up to me. I had to make sure I got all my work done for school. Which certainly helped me much more than if they would simply just hold my hand through everything. I learned how to stay on top of my own responsibilities without having to rely on anyone else. There were sometimes where I tried to either cheat my way out of doing schoolwork and quickly learned that it was just easier and better to do everything. I believe the best way to learn is to learn from your previous mistakes and that’s exactly what children will do. 

Rebuttal 

The internet is a huge space filled with so many different things, from chat rooms, pornography, cyberbullying and so much more. I can understand why parents would want to shield their children from such things. I’ve never said the internet is a safe place, and it isn’t. What parents are probably the most scared of is sexting. Sexting has become a prominent issue in teens’ lives. In the article, “Why Parents Should Monitor Their Child’s Internet Usage” by Dr. Patrick Capriola, about how these teens “may think they are sending private messages to someone who would never share them” (Capriola) which is certainly true. I don’t even think sexting is that great of a thing and I can see why this would raise concern for a parent. Parents may want to check their children’s messages to see if they are doing such a thing. However, I still don’t think snooping on your child is the way to approach this situation. The best way is just to talk to them openly and honestly. It may be an awkward experience but it’s better than watching their every move. Tell them the things to watch in others and that they should only do what they are actually comfortable with. 

Monitoring these children isn’t doing anything for them in the first place. If these children were to look up something it wouldn’t necessarily mean that they agree with such information. Kay Matheison states in her article ““The Internet, Children, and Privacy: The Case Against Parental Monitoring.” how “one cannot infer from the fact that someone reads a racist tract to the conclusion that she is a racist.” (Matheison, 267) Which is true. Not everything put in a google search is something that you agree with or are fully aware of. Most of the time these google searches are done much more out of curiosity if anything. 

Conclusion

It’s understandable that every parent raises their child their own way. Everyone is raised differently and there’s so many different reasons why parents choose the way they raise their children. However, I truly believe that parents should start to consider giving their children much more privacy. I’m sure when they were kids themselves they didn’t want their parents to know everything they’ve done. It’s not like there’s nothing wrong with that, every kid keeps their own secrets, and it’s up to them to decide whether or not to tell their parents. Just try to understand that if your children are starting to keep things away from you, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are growing apart from you, they are most likely just trying to figure out themselves. 

Bibliography: 

Anderson, M. (2020, May 30). 1. how parents monitor their teen’s digital behavior. Pew

Research Center: Internet, Science & Tech. Retrieved October 17, 2021, from

\https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2016/01/07/how-parents-monitor-their-teens-digital-behavior/. 

Jessy, P. K. (2018, September 27). 5 tips to monitor your child’s online activities. Medium.

Retrieved October 17, 2021, from https://medium.com/kidsnclicks/5-tips-to-monitor-your-childs-online-activities-b40a985039f3. 

Shwartz, A. (2021, March 31). Why you should never cyber-snoop on your kids, according to a

tech expert. Fatherly. Retrieved October 19, 2021, from https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/monitoring-kids-online-activity-doesnt-help/. 

Capriola, D. P. (2019, January 27). Why parents should monitor their child’s internet usage.

Strategies for Parents. Retrieved October 19, 2021, from https://strategiesforparents.com/why-parents-should-monitor-their-childrens-internet-usage/. 

Weir, K. (2016, April 14). Parents shouldn’t spy on their kids – issue 35: Boundaries. Nautilus. 

Retrieved October 31, 2021, from https://nautil.us/issue/35/boundaries/parents-shouldnt-spy-on-their-kids. 

Model Essay:

Mathiesen, Kay. “The Internet, Children, and Privacy: The Case Against Parental Monitoring.”

Ethics and information technology 15.4 (2013): 263–274. Web.